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Stupid Ratings
By Stock Forrest | July 25, 2008
So the newspaper I’m writing for wants my column to be called the Rock Stock Report. Get it? My name is Stock? I’m supposed to review two albums each week. If I like an album they’ll put a cartoon bull next to it. If I pan an album, they’ll put a cartoon bear next to it. What a laff riot.
I’ve had to deal with stupid rating systems before. The UK magazine Kerrang grades the music it reviews with a number of K’s. Five K’s if it’s a classic. One K if it sucks. In the 80’s I submitted a review of Boston’s Third Stage. I gave the album one K but I told them to put the K backwards because the rhythm section didn’t swing. Now tell me baseball fans, that’s funny, right?
I guess they only play fucking cricket in the UK, ’cause they rejected my review.
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